Aliens, Keira Knightley, and Ancient Weapons of War

8 09 2012

25 For 25 (eBook)

Aaaaand done.

So I finally knocked the last of the short stories in the collection off the “To Readificate” list. Now I know what you’re thinking.

“HOLY OXFORD ENGLISH ERRORS BATMAN!”

Relax. It’s okay, I’m just messing around. I know I left the second “o” off of “To. I has an English degree you know.

Anyways!

I have to preface my little blurb here by saying this is not for everyone. Obviously. No bit of writing is gleefully consumed by every single person who reads. Genre, themes, yadda, yadda, and also yadda, appeals to differently to different people. Different tastes. Different strokes. And that just opens a whole other can of Annelids, Nematodes, and Platyhelminthes. (You just got scienced!)

This is a science-fiction collection. Or sci-fi if that’s how you want to roll with it. Hell, SyFy if you’re trendy. That fact alone cuts the prospective pool of readers likely to read it by a bit. I don’t know why you wouldn’t read science-fiction but that is a tirade for another day.

On top of that, it’s sci-fi set in a game universe. I feel like there is a bias against these sorts of stories, a strange idea that because they take place in a video game setting its automatically sub par. There is no less value there my friend. It’s just doesn’t make sense especially since you could really make a game out of anything. (I feel it worthwhile to mention that it does sport a couple of video game titles but the franchise started as and will forever be a table top wargame)

Pride and Prejudice? Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be a title that makes it to the top of every gamers list but come one. It’s possible. Actually it strikes me as a game that would prove rather challenging.

Trying to choose the right witty comebacks during all the silly sister encounters, trying to build up relationship points with Mr Darcy so that you not only beat the game by marrying him, but also gather enough extra to unlock the surprise Donald Sutherland film outtakes!

I bet there would be a lot of Keira Knightley mo-cap. 

I’m sorry, that went somewhere strange.

Right so, summing up here.

  • Sci-Fi good. Read it.
  •  Books set in game universes are frequently just as good as anything else. Give it a chance.
  • Keira Knightley mo-cap. Meh.

So what about the stories?

I liked them. I am a big fan of the game, Warhammer. I play it myself so getting to learn a little more about the exploits of the some of the more heroic individuals was fun for me from a fan perspective. In addition the dark, gritty, gothic tone of the writing is right up my alley. Every once in a while the grim, often violent tales are an appreciated distraction.

Each piece spans a healthy variety of characters from the everyday man to the conscripted soldier. From children to the super-human protectors of mankind, the Space Marines. And even chaos, the classic villain of the universe gets to weigh in from its own perspective.

One thing that stood out to me was the strength of the human spirit, of hope in the face of adversity. There were stories of survival and stories that asked, just how far would you go? When was it too much? What would you be willing to sacrifice for the greater good of not only your friends and family, but your very species?

One of my biggest draws to the universe as a whole is humanity’s view of machines which has evolved to the point of possessing religious value. Machines no longer serve simply as tools to extend the capabilities of man but provide a focus of faith and the development of some really interesting plot arcs and characters.

The Cult of the Machine God, a priestly institution based on Mars, is one of the most interesting groups to appear in the stories. They remind me of the transhumanist and of the singularity that Ray Kurzweil talks about. LOVE THIS STUFF.

The stories are short enough to read a couple in a sitting but lengthy enough to allow characters to develop to the point of holding your interest while remaining at a constant pace. And, being true to a future where man is besieged on all sides by aliens and dark gods, it’s a fast pace.

All I am saaaaayinggggg, is give Sci-Fi a chaaaaance.


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Categories : Good Times, Reviews

Cooking With Spam IV: A New Tin

9 07 2012

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. It seems I’m getting close to running out of Star Wars films and yet, like certain forms of antibiotic resistant bacterial infections, the spam just refuses to die! I suppose that must be part of its charm. If meat in a tin can be called charming.

I must admit before I get rolling into it like a pig in swaller, that for this installment I’m using some particularly bold bits of who-the-hell-knows-what-part-of-the-animal-that-is. As usual however, the spam is presented in it’s totally, 100% unedited, oddly formed glory. There will be spelling errors. There will be wonky grammar. My responses to such Tomfoolery is in Italics.

Now let’s Ital-lick this meat! No? Too much? 

Okay.

FastCas3 Writes,

Behold your site with frequency!

Yes, Behold it NOW!

I could not help but notice that there is an incredible lack of recipies here.

Well, typically I don’t write about cooking. I suppose I could start throwing something out there? I have a fantastic “recipie” for some “really special” brownies.

But I find that that way of presenting the facts is strange.

And now we go from the “Did my spam filter mess up?” pile to the odd meat folder where you belong!

Did you know that for instance there wil be new ways of publishing recipies in books this year?

Like different ink or something? Can I start using all this pig’s blood I’ve been stockpiling?

There has be money to be made in the future of this sort of publishing. Perhaps you should offer you’re sort of meat to them?

Now listen here buddy. I’m all for making money but I don’t think offering my “sort of meat” to strangers is the safest way to go about it.

And with some edit services from [supposed editing services url] you too can make good income from books right here!

Alright, listen. First of all, I think there is an error in that link. I just don’t see how “Real Live Girls” is going to help me properly edit anything. And secondly, I’m really starting to have my doubts at this point about how much you know about books or cooking or anything so I will say good day to you sir.

Stop bye and use the coupon coded [possibly fake coupon code] for instants savings discounted!

I said good day!

 

1CY23 writes,

There is something elegant here.

Wait, here? You must be a spambot.

I once read a poster in portugal, a very beautiful language.

Portuguese? Is it beautiful? I can’t think of what it sounds like. Wait. You were in Portugal reading it or did you mean the poster was in Portuguese?

I couldn’t not have tried better to say it myself.

Really? Wait, what?

It sold tickets to the most popular bull in town.

I’m trying really hard to understand here. I promise I am. So, where the tickets to go and see a bull like a side-show? Was it some sort of act?

There is an overwelming since of the spirit of sport there.

Please. For the love of grammar. What are you talking about?!

I can notice that very thing here.

What are you noticing? Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?

Keep up the good work.

Fine, sure. Whatever you say.

 

CrafT writes,

You!

Yes?

It’s so deep!

…

The depth at which you have brought this subject to is asounding!

It was a blog entry about spam. You’re commenting on one of my spam posts. Do you understand you’re about to be ON a spam post?

If only more hosts and bloggers felt this way we coluld bring about some change.

Honestly, sometimes you people exhaust me. And really, I think I’m writing what most bloggers are thinking when they peruse their spam boxes.

If you have anymoreadvice about sspreading the word do not hesitate to write more blogs about this very improtant topic!

Oh I’m pretty sure there will be more.

I can thank you enough.

Dude. Ouch.

Enjoy the day! Keep blogging!

Woah, you can’t follow an insult with a farewell. This is ridiculous! Just for that I’m NOT going to enjoy my day. Yeah, what do you think about that meat product? Hehe. I showed that guy.


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Categories : Current Projects, Good Times

The March East II

24 06 2012

I bought a book.

So as I mentioned before, there is a crazy guy that works here on the same crazy third shift I do. Which, if you work third shift yes, you are crazy. There’s no getting around it. Accept it.

Anyways.

Crazy guy says to me, “Buy this book it’s awesome”.

20120624-035150.jpg

So I did. This guy has his Japanese down, just like my father. And that was the whole point remember? Getting to engage my family in conversation.

I’ve only just started but, Cthulu willing, I’ll be performing my weekly demonic rights in another language!

Performing ritual animal sacrifice is probably a lot more fulfilling in languages other then English. I haven’t asked my local witch yet but, come on, think about it.

Thiiiink.


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Categories : Current Projects, Good Times

Boss

17 06 2012

One word. Small, to-the-point. But much like many other four letters words it holds a lot of weight. I have one of these, and it isn’t me as much as I might like to be my own.

Her name is Bertha.

At times she is calm, like a quaint reflecting pool built into the front courtyard of a mountain-side temple. And sometimes she rages around the office here tearing the ties from unsuspecting clerks while barking archaic profanities the likes of which might cause a nun to melt. In the bad sort of skin from bone way.

Her anger is a thing of legend. I heard once that she killed a man from a hundred paces with just a word and a glare. He had demanded time from her deadline stretched, managerial fingers. She turned to him and said, “You.”

That was the first face-melting ever reported.

But when she is feeling friendly there isn’t a more pleasant person in the world as long as you can look past the possibility that you too might one day find yourself lacking an epidermis. But as long as you do as you’re told and generally avoid being combative you shouldn’t have your skin sucked off like a thin candy coating on a human shaped treat.

In all honesty I like this lady. Hands down, of any boss I’ve had this is the best. Or is it least drunk? Actually I think it might be both. Either way, that is something that I can’t appreciate enough.

I recently received a modest elevation of status here. Nothing major mind you but enough to make me smile and quietly high-five myself. Which is totally normal. It’s just, I don’t think people really high-five around here.

I don’t see it anyways.

So this, you could say, is not so much a “Meet-” sort of post and more of a nod of appreciation, a thank you blasted off into the swirling, chaotic ether of the internet.

Keep being awesome, Boss Lady.


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Categories : Good Times, The World

The March East I

2 06 2012

I’ve lost some roots I think. Well, maybe not lost but they’ve certainly grown further from me. I didn’t grow up where I live now. It was thousands of miles from here in fact. Not so far as say, the moon but most certainly not as close as New Jersey.

Here’s the short of it. I’m learning Japanese.

My father is fluent, the lousy old man. My sister? Fluent? At the very least, incredibly competent. Myself? None of the above. When we left Japan I was twelve. I had only just started to receive a more focused education in the language. But then we moved to New York.

That’s the state, not the city. And yes, there is a difference.

It’s cows. Lots of cows. (And graffiti. Down-state they do buildings not cows.)

But I digress.

In recent weeks I have encountered not one but two people who have raised the subject in conversation. One was a fellow who lived there for a few years, like I did. He encouraged me to continue the study, independently, formally – anyway at all. Long as I did. I took him seriously.

I looked into self teaching books and made purchases. I reasoned that such tools, coupled with my fluent family members I would indeed make excellent progress. I have yet to begin as of this post’s publication. Due only to the speed by which the mail travels.

There are a lot of things that I miss about my home country and as much as I’d like to be able to move back, take a trip back, anything, it isn’t in the cards right now. So I’ll just stick to learning the language that I always expected I would. (The sudden absence of any teachers here caught me entirely off-guard. The things you don’t think about when you’re young.)

Hindsight forced me to acknowledge the fact that I hadn’t taken every opportunity to experience what was around me. Don’t get me wrong, my family and I experienced the hell out of that country. But there were programs that my sister was involved in that I never even considered that really amounted to me not seizing every single bit of what was a fantastic childhood abroad.

It was still the greatest I ever could have hoped for. This is me reclaiming lost opportunities.

It’s one step closer to home I should say.

The first of many.


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Getting Back on Track and the Girl Who Knows How You’ll Die

14 05 2012

With the bloggery!

Sometimes I’d like to complain and say “I don’t have enough time in the day to manage all this crap! There’s this and that and the other thing and this guy over here. Blah. Blah. Blah.”

But come on, the same twenty-four hours. That’s what we get. No one gets more in which to accomplish a dozen different acts of awesome. So let’s not allow that to be an excuse.

I started this post three times before decided to just write it. I mean, sit down and begin. That’s the hardest part. The beginning. And maybe not necessarily the beginning itself, but rather the act of placing but in chair and apply controlled force to the keys.

So this is me. Getting started. Again.

Let’s talk about the girl.

From Amazon.com:

Miriam Black knows when you will die.

Still in her early twenties, she’s foreseen hundreds of car crashes, heart attacks, strokes, suicides, and slow deaths by cancer. But when Miriam hitches a ride with truck driver Louis Darling and shakes his hand, she sees that in thirty days Louis will be gruesomely murdered while he calls her name.

Miriam has given up trying to save people; that only makes their deaths happen. But Louis will die because he met her, and she will be the next victim. No matter what she does she can’t save Louis. But if she wants to stay alive, she’ll have to try.

Enter Chuck Wendig and his new novel,Blackbirds.

The newest book from Mr. Wendig takes us on a dark ride down the highways of America, introducing us to the weird, the terrible, and the occasional professional killer.

I chose this book to review for a couple of reasons. First and foremost this author is awesome. I’ve yet to encounter anything about him that I truly distaste thus I follow his works. Makes sense. Two, the subject matter grabs me like nothing else. I love to read tales that offer new spins on death, dying and what exactly those things mean.

A fair bit of warning to you. This, like much of Wendig’s other works, is not for the easily offended. I say this because you will run across profanity as you progress. In all honesty it doesn’t bother me. I think it rather adds an extra layer of depth to the people we’re reading about. That is to say that it is never wasted. Never forced. It doesn’t pop up where it does not make sense.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s look a little more at it.

At its surface, Blackbirds follows a girl that’s just trying to cope. Keep contact with the outside world to a minimum. Miriam is an oddly endearing character, the depth of which, begins more apparent as the tale unfolds. A sarcastic, young girl with a delightfully twisted sense of humor, Miriam refused to sit back on the page and more often than not I found myself surprised to be giggling in the middle of terrible events.

She was easy to become invested in and the rest of the cast followed suit.

The story itself, the chain of events, the plot of plots, arc of events. Eh. Forgot what I was talking about for a second. Right, the story itself. Twisty, unexpected, full of emotion. Only Wendig could take an idea that might work in and of itself as a book and impose upon it layer after eerie layer of macabre brilliance, elevating the already great, to a position of damn good.

All I can say is, glad there’s a sequel. I’m thirsting for more Miriam over here!


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Categories : Good Times, What I'm Reading

Cooking With Spam III: Rise Of The Spam

28 04 2012

By now you may be asking yourself what does Star Wars and an awkward looking canned ‘meat’ have in common? 

The short answer?

Nothing.

The slightly longer but still rather short answer?

Not a damn thing.

I prefer the second. It’s got some kick, some sass. It just walked in your front door, kicked its boots off and started to rummage through your fridge without so much as a ‘hullo’.

So why don’t we just dive head first, like a swan, into the thick, bizarre mountain of what might be a meat. As always these comments are harvested directly from my WordPress spam folder and appear in unedited form. That’s right, I know some words might be misspelled and the grammar may experience fits of terrible suck, but that’s not me.

The italics on the other hand? That is me.

ONWARD!

Mebbe Religion writes,

I read at an extreme velocity.

You read at an extreme velocity? What, like while in a spaceship or a jet or something?

I find your sight as smooth parts as well.

That is true. I do have pretty soft eyeballs. There was one time, that I was resting my head on my hand it I sneezed and I slipped and my finger hit my eye. I thought to myself, my god – my optical spheres are like miniature baby’s bottoms.

The lay out of it does not impact my speeding in the negative.

I’m going to have to side with the law on this one actually and say speeding, especially while reading, is a bad thing. It could have an impact on your life. As in it might end.

If you would mind, there was an address, if there is that one might find to bring links to your template?

I didn’t quite make that one out, maybe you could think on it a bit and get back to me when you can word that a little better?   

Huh?

And also, perhaps you might consider for me as well.

Consider you for what? The craziest person I’ve run into in the last five minutes? Trust me buddy, you’ve already got the nomination.

And as always consider perhaps, the Jesus as well.

The Jesus? That makes him sound kind of hip. Hey everybody, its THE Jesus. And then everyone’s like “Hey Jesus!” (In the style of Norm entering the bar on cheers) and then Jesus would be like “Heeeeeeyy.” (In the style of the Fonz)

Thank you for the consideration in the future.

Consider for what?! You have to be more specific. Congress? President of the PTA? Fine, he has my consideration. I think they’re probably all devil-worshippers anyways. What’s that? Which one did I mean? Oh, right. The answer is yes.

 

Freeads writes, in response to Ted Talk 2023,

Some people think  that this is the joke.

Like some people think you are off the meds.

But here is my rub.

Too much info, too much info!

I have taken to seeing this sort of topic in the past.

You sure you haven’t taken to seeing in the future?

There is technology present that makes this thing better you know.

The…rub? I’m scared to ask for clarification.

But I could hardly blame you for that.

Thank you?

 

Jj04or04 writes,

I have never used the internet before.

It shows. This comment for instance was poorly written enough to constitute as SPAM.

But there is little reason to think that web hosts is cheap.

And now I see why.

Where did you find such a lovely place to find a place for blogging on such as a fantastic as invention like this?

Is WordPress a choice? God, I hope it is.

And if so, how much do you pay for hosting?

It’s a little hard to explain since I never was too good with the maths. Let me grab my abacus real quick. Uh, twelve plus seventeen, divided by the square root of a camel. Wait, that doesn’t seem right. Is twelve a real number?

Regardless! Keep flowing the good words friend!

Don’t worry, I flow every day! The doctor said it was normal!


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Categories : Good Times, Random!

Ted Talk 2023

18 04 2012

I love advertising.

Well, certain sorts. There is a, let’s call it, genre of advertising that I absolutely cannot get enough of. Some people might think that’s a bit silly. I’m confessing my enjoyment for a corporate entity’s attempt to sell me something I might not even need. To that I say, yes. Yes I am. On the one hand I like to buy stuff. Just saying. Who doesn’t? But here’s the thing. Viral marketing is simply the greatest thing to happen to the world of advertisements. I say this because it takes the attempt to sell me stuff and transforms it into an exercise in storytelling.

And there is nothing greater than storytelling, baby.

Now, I’ve already barked the film Prometheus here at the press. If you haven’t watched the trailer, watch it. And if you don’t love the Alien movies. Fix that. Fix that right now, that needs to change. Fantastic bits of Science Fiction, those.

For those of you who are up on their cinema however, I respectfully force you, to watch this.

 

Yeah!! Hubris! Love it, rock on Peter!


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I Can Almost Taste The Nuclear Fallout From Here!

8 04 2012

So I’ve been sitting down with a new game. The past week I’ve been playing Mass Effect 3. I’d like to give you a list just packed full of praise for the writing, the system, the richness of the world, but I can’t. That’s not to say I have no praise. There is just something I need to talk about first.

I remember, long ago, playing games on my parents old Atari system. The controllers were ridiculous. The games were simple both graphically and in the way they played. But for their time they were pretty spectacular.

Then came newer systems. Faster processors, more intuitive controls, and superior graphics led to better and better games. Naturally. The focus shifted away, at least in part, from the repetitive completion of tasks and more work was devoted to writing a damn good story.

The current generation of console videos games have some really great bits of storytelling and this franchise is by far one of my favorites. But even that isn’t what I wanted to talk about.

Its hardware.

And not just another controller. Hardware that enhances the story.

Whaaaaa?

I know! It’s crazy. This may not hold true for everyone but I feel that this is the most interactive game I’ve ever played. And that would be because of the Kinect.

Now the Kinect was originally presented as the thing that was going to revolutionize the way you played games in that there would be no more controller. Your body would become the only thing you needed to play. It’s like a Wii. Only better.

But it goes even further!

Mass Effect does not use any of the motion capturing capabilities of the hardware, only the microphone. The voice recognition. Which is interestingly immersive.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve played through a game and ended up shouting/swearing/shaking my fist at it in anger and or frustration. Or jubilation. Or any other sort of ‘-ation’.

So what does the voice recognition do for me? The short answer is everything. The longer answer?

  • Command your character to change weapons or execute special powers
  • Tell your squadmates to use special powers or move to specific locations
  • Choose conversation options

And yes you do really get to speak quite a bit. Now I feel that much more immersed into the game world. That I am not only creating a unique story arc through my decisions in-game but when I’m shouting at Lieutenant Vega to move his deaf, overly muscled back-end, he does it.  (AsifI actually brought Vega anywhere)

One more step closer to being able to sit down and plug my head into my game console and run around in whatever the latest best seller is. The singularity is near!


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Blood And Stone

1 04 2012

Question: What do you get when you mix a sculptor, a writer, and tons of river stone?

Answer: Lots of blood, swearing, and a damn good time!

The Excursions

The last several times I’ve visited the Fungus, who I could refer to as Cooper since I’ve advertised him in the past, we’ve headed into the woods. There is no reason to hang out about the house all the time. Writing may technically be a sedentary activity but it does require your body gets out and gets some experience. (How else would you level?)

One Saturday afternoon I drove down to his place and over a delightful IPA, I believe, we started to discuss visual art forms as we frequently do when he sprung an idea on me. I’ve had the good fortunes to be invited by the Fungus to assist him in projects from time to time. And since they have never been anything but hugely engaging and loads of fun, I agreed.

So what was the project? Stone arches. In the woods.

Now some people might ask, why? If it’s in the woods who’s going to see it? What’s the point? How is that art? To those people I say,hush.

Does location matter when talking about art? Just because the probability of a large number of people walking past it everyday is low, does that mean it can’t be art? If it didn’t start life in a studio and end up in gallery once completed, does that disqualify something to be considered as art?

Or is there something deeper? Does it gain value being in an obscure place? Is it more meaningful to the person who stumbles upon it? Does the setting have some vital effect on the piece that would be lost if it were to be anywhere else? Would it stop being art because you put it into a gallery?

I can’t remember the last time I used this many questions marks.

There is a lot of reflecting that one needs to know when examining visual arts. Not only when trying to decipher what the artist wanted to say, but also what it means to you.

Incoming Photography

 

Behold. The first arch assembled, with the support still intact.

HIIIIYYA! Side shot. Of a different arch. You can tell because there are shadows in this shot. And I don’t know if it is obvious from this angle but its a tad shorter. Why did I give you a shot of another arch? Because I liked the side view on this one better. And I neglected to take a side shot of the first arch. This was our third.

And from there it became a painful exercise in Jenga tactics while trying to avoid smashing our fingers too badly. We began removing the supporting stones from within the arch. It was a slow process.

A shot from head on with the majority of the supporting stones removed. The ones that mattered the most anyways. (i.e. the one’s that were making contact with the arch itself.)

So of the three that we made, how many are now standing, resolute and powerful in the woods? None.

And that’s okay. We aren’t professional stone masons or architects. We’re learning as we go. And that is part of the fun. 

But you know what we did leave in the woods? Blood.

Lots of blood.


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