Of Google Terms and Random Bits

6 10 2012

Prepare for possibly disjointed thoughts. I’m vomiting piles of words just ahead.

Every once in a while I like to sit down and take a look at my blog statistics. Not only is it great to see how the readership has grown, but it also makes for a good laugh. I’ve probably said it before but for you folks just tuning in, WordPress tracks a great deal of information for you including, most interestingly, the search terms used by people who arrived at your site.

There are some people I want to meet. From behind safety glass.

Like the guy (or gal, I’m not discriminating) that stumbled upon my blog while surfing the web for ‘big fat hairy girls with attitude’. What sir, or ma’am, were you doing? Personal ads? Porn that wasn’t mainstream?

And speaking of porn…

‘Housewife bondage.” Huh? I don’t know what to ask first. Why are you searching for this or, what have I written about that was close enough to that to bring you here? Maybe your other personality is blogging while you’re not looking. That jerk! That guy is annoying as heck and no matter how many times I change my password, he always guesses it!

How about ‘Serial Killer Porn?’ Well that one I can see. Not too long ago I added a post that did talk about serial killers. And pornography. In fact, I’m 100% sure I’ve never talked about the two in the same context. Okay, 60% sure. Look, it has to be at least half alright? I’m not that strange.

So what’s the take away from all this?

Never underestimate the ability for something to provide an alternative function to that which it was originally intended.

For me, Google is made for so much more than just searching the net. It entertains me as well. It does so much more than just find points of light in the vast darkness of the internet.

It tracks your traffic. It collects data to be used for more focused marketing. It pierces the veil that is your material body and BROWSES THE CONTENTS OF YOUR VERY SOUL. All from the comfort of their corporate couches in California.

Is there anything else I’ve learned? It’s made me realize that there are still strange people in the world somewhere. And they have internet connections. I guess it’s easier to stay connected in the sticks with satellite ISP’s.

I’m not ungrateful to have received their views. My only hope is that they will continue to drop by. Not because I have a deep, secret desire to become the go-to place for serial killers on the web. I appreciate the fodder; the extra bits for the blog-machine.

It’s a classic case of life giving you lemons. You have to take those lemons, drive to Wal-Mart for a ninja food processor, zip over to the liquor store for some vodka and make some lemon drop cocktails from it!

Ted Talk 2023

18 04 2012

I love advertising.

Well, certain sorts. There is a, let’s call it, genre of advertising that I absolutely cannot get enough of. Some people might think that’s a bit silly. I’m confessing my enjoyment for a corporate entity’s attempt to sell me something I might not even need. To that I say, yes. Yes I am. On the one hand I like to buy stuff. Just saying. Who doesn’t? But here’s the thing. Viral marketing is simply the greatest thing to happen to the world of advertisements. I say this because it takes the attempt to sell me stuff and transforms it into an exercise in storytelling.

And there is nothing greater than storytelling, baby.

Now, I’ve already barked the film Prometheus here at the press. If you haven’t watched the trailer, watch it. And if you don’t love the Alien movies. Fix that. Fix that right now, that needs to change. Fantastic bits of Science Fiction, those.

For those of you who are up on their cinema however, I respectfully force you, to watch this.


Yeah!! Hubris! Love it, rock on Peter!